Anakin's Intervention
by spacecadet777
Summary: AU where Verizon and Twitter exists. Based on the YouTube video My Hero Academia except Todoroki Only Speaks like Twitter Posts. Disney and Lucasfilm's bag of chips. I'm just stealing a chip. It's the My Hero Academia crossover (kinda sorta) that no one wants…enjoy!


AU where Verizon and Twitter exists. Based on the YouTube video My Hero Academia except Todoroki Only Speaks like Twitter Posts. Disney and Lucasfilm's bag of chips. I'm just stealing a chip. It's the My Hero Academia crossover (kinda sorta) that no one wants…enjoy!

Padme was not a happy woman. She had just seen the Verizon bill and nearly had a heart attack. Not only had her texting gone through the roof, but her internet usage was way out of control. She knew what had happened, but she didn't want to admit it. Anakin had gotten a new smartphone, instead of the nearly indestructible flip phone that he had since she let him be on her contract when they were married. She told him not to go crazy with it, but he's a guy and he's married. Sometimes the guys don't listen. She tells Obi-Wan, Ahsoka and Fives. This is the intervention of him.

"Anakin, we need to stage an intervention", Ahsoka said. She had texted Obi-Wan and Fives and told them to meet at Padme's apartment.

When the others showed up, Anakin, who had been texting Chancellor Palpatine at the time finally looked up and said, "What's the Tea, sis?"

"This is exactly the problem, master."

Fives chimed in "Ever since you got that damned smartphone and using the holonet nobody can understand what you are saying anymore."

Ahsoka said "And I thought Master Yoda was bad"

But I'm a precious cinnamon roll, and I can do no wrong. Anakin stated and then he said uwu- imitation of the emoji.

"You are doing everything wrong right now," Ahsoka said.

"Would it kill you to use some punctuation, or at least correct grammar like you used to do?" Fives asked

Anakin looked at his padawan, his friend and his master and then looking at Obi-Wan asked "Science side of class 1a please explain why they are acting this way to me?" To which Obi-wan just stroked his beard.

Obi-Wan answered back "Who are you talking to"?

Anakin responded, "the void".

Ahsoka said. "That's it. I'm breaking up with you, you aren't going to be my master if you are acting like this".

Anakin came back with "this is so sad. Artoo play Despicito"

Fives growled "We need to get Anakin away from the holonet!" Pin him down and take his comm!

The jedi's head snapped up, he raised his eyebrows and said "oh man, I'm being pinned down by hot guys and a girl! Look at all these lemons!"

The Tortuga looked at 0bi-wan and Fives like Anakin had fried a circuit. "What"?

"I'm sinning so hard right now", Anakin said.

"On second thought, I don't want to touch Anakin". Fives said, taking a step back toward the door of the apartment. Meanwhile, Padme had just come back in the apartment, and was standing next to Obi-Wan.

The master saw her stop by the chair that he was sitting in and said "Yeah, he's your problem now Padme"

Anakin stated "omg, I'm dying".

Ahsoka warned "Anakin, if you say one more word right now, I swear to Mace Windu I'm going to choke you", and raised her hand to prepare to force choke the man

He faced Ahsoka and said "asdfjkafsd"

"What the kriff"? Ahsoka looked at Kenobi and Padme

Fives interjected "I don't even think that's a word!"

Anakin, who was either clearly getting annoyed or amused in a weird way by this said, "I am so done right now."

Ahsoka, shaking her head said "yeah, that makes two of us"

Anakin responded "goals".

Ahsoka retorted "you are literally the worst."

"But I'm just a humble piece of trash, please take me out" Anakin said

To which Ahsoka blushed and said "Uhh"

He then turned and looked at Padme his wife and said "right now I'm looking like a snack"

Obi-Wan interjected and said that "you look like an expired snack that's been sitting of the back of the shelf for months".

Thinking that this would help break the cycle Ahsoka asked "If I gave you a kiss, would you please just stop?"

Padme looked at her like she was crazy, but Anakin wasn't bothered by that all "Oh my god, I ship it! My OTP is cannon!"

The padawan rolled her eyes and said, "on second thought, I'm just going to kill you". And got out her lightsabers. She didn't ignite them, she just got them out.

"Savage as kriff" Anakin said.

"Say your kriffin prayers," Ahsoka stood up

"Yes Mommy", Anakin was facing Ahsoka and not doing a damn thing to stop this from happening. Ahsoka was now looking at Padme who was holding her head in her hands, massaging her temple, and Obi-Wan was looking at him as if he had gone off the deep end.

Ahsoka sat back down and said "Now I'm too grossed out to even touch him…"

Fives, who was watching this exchange, texting some of the other clones the details of this conversation, and not believing half of what he was witnessing nearly lost his lunch when he heard Anakin say, "don't you kinkshame me". Cleary the jedi had gone too far. Padme had even gone for the whiskey that she usually keeps hidden and had taken a shot of it.

"I suggest that we all just never talk to Anakin again" Fives suggested he also stated that Waxer and Boil agreed to this as well as Cody.

"Sounds like a plan", Obi-Wan said

"I'm in." Ahsoka added

Looking halfway defeated Anakin said, "I'm shook". At this Padme had had enough. She looked at the trio who were looking at the jedi and said, "He may be shook, but now he needs to be woke. Sorry you three. You failed at this. Looks like I'm going to have to bring out the big guns."

Loosening the top three buttons to her dress provided a view of her cleavage. She then walked over to her husband. Leaning over him, she took comm out of his hand.

Knowing that he was supposed to not react to this but knowing that the others in the room knew that Padme was his wife, he looked at her appreciatively. Padme accessed the account section of the phone's menu and showed a figure that immediately sobered him.

The exact words that Padme said to her husband will forever remain a mystery, but three phrases definitely caught Obi-Wan's and Ahsoka's attention. Fives at this point had left, not wanting to see how the general would react to this. The phrases "cut off" "sleeping on the couch" and "ass hauled to Tatooine and sold to Jabba the Hutt to pay off the bill" were sent to the other Jedi in the room. Anakin put the comm down. The only words he spoke were "yes, ma'am."

The next day, Anakin was walking down the hallway at the Jedi temple when Ahsoka and Obi-Wan fell into step with him on the left and right side of him. His nose wasn't halfway into his phone as it had been for the past few weeks.

"Were you really going to kill me, Snips?" Anakin asked his padawan

"No, not really. But you were really trying my nerves". She said.

"What did the senator say to you?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I'll tweet about it later", Anakin said and proceeded to run down the hall. The two were left just shaking their heads. "Always on the move," Obi-Wan commented.


End file.
